The ministry of giving

Ministry given at Britain Yearly Meeting on 30 May 2010 by Katie Frost, Community Fundraising Officer

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On October 12th 1966, 166 children and 28 adults were killed as a coal tip above Aberfan slid down the mountain and engulfed a farm, several houses and a school. As I a child of six, I was deeply moved. I went upstairs, got my piggy bank and emptied it on the kitchen table, instructing my father to send the money to the disaster appeal.

Twelve shillings.

This was the first experience I can remember of giving money. I felt compelled to give. Nothing complicated - a simple act of love. I knew I had done the right thing. It felt good.

Looking back now, I think at that time in my life I had a healthy relationship with money. I understood it had been given freely to me to spend responsibly. As I have grown older that relationship has become more complicated and less healthy. What changed? How did this happen?

Two worlds, different values

In my late 20s and early 30s, I was running businesses. I have always loved making money. It is great fun: the creativity involved; the planning; the building of strategies; the team work; the tangible financial results that so clearly demonstrate success and failure.

I enjoyed, with my non-Quaker business partner, giving money away, for example buying canoes for the local club. They were surprised when we insisted that was all we wanted to do. 'Don't you want to advertise your company on the boats? No one gives something for nothing these days - except fools!'

But we simply wanted to contribute and put back into our community - we saw that was part of our social responsibility.
I was sitting divided and challenged, struggling to live my faith in two worlds with different values.

I found strength in my meeting, where I was quickly encouraged to feel part of the community. I was asked to take on the role of children's convenor and later lettings clerk, as well as to contribute financially (as an attender at that time) to the financial health of the meeting.

My giving of time and money gave me a sense of belonging to my meeting. And there was an added bonus to being lettings clerk: not only was there an opportunity to put my money-making enthusiasm to good use, there was a new opportunity to build relationships with the local community at the same time. This was the first occasion that I recognised fundraising could also be outreach. Why would they be different?

The challenge of money

My business life held more challenges for me as a Quaker. Having worked hard to win a contract with a company in a competitive market, I discovered that a third of their business was in the defence industry.

Fortunately, my non-Quaker business partner understood my dilemma. We compromised - she delivered on the contract personally, and I gave my half of the profit made to a local charity. I still felt uncomfortable.

In my 40s, following divorce and sole financial responsibility for my two sons, I got lost, not consciously, but looking back I see my relationship with money had changed. I became frightened of it.

Sometimes I didn't open bank statements or anything in a brown envelope - for weeks. When I did have money, I stockpiled it. I thought that money equalled security, because you never know what might be round the corner and what disaster might befall you.

Interestingly, I did not review my standing order for my meeting during this period.

God will provide?

In March 2008, I started as your Community Fundraising Officer. On my first day, full of enthusiasm, I helped run a fundraising workshop at the QPSW Spring Conference. We asked the delegates to explain why they had chosen to participate in the workshop and what they wanted from it.

Almost every person told us that they had actually chosen another workshop, but were too late and had instead been put on the fundraising workshop, in which they had not the slightest interest.

It was here I first learnt that talking about money can be taboo. I was told by one Friend: 'God will provide'. I replied, 'You are right - and God has provided me!'

Now I was seeing the challenges not only of living in our wider society but also of our own Religious Society of Friends, and I started to feel angry.

I felt angry at some of our attitudes and behaviour toward money as individuals and as meetings. Meetings told me they were 'lucky' and 'very fortunate' because they had plenty of money in the pot left by the legacies of dead Friends, so they didn't need to worry about money or giving, and there was no need to fundraise.

Then there is the inequality of giving within meetings, where one or two elderly Friends can too often account for over a third of the meeting's giving.

Our team researched giving patterns within the Society and discovered that donations to the Yearly Meeting have been dropping for the last ten years, and that Quakers are giving less per person now in real terms than ten years ago. As one treasurer commented in a recent survey, 'How long can this level of giving be sustainable?'

The big question

The big question: Are we challenging the wider society's attitudes and behaviour to money or mirroring them? That's the big question. What is distinctly Quaker about our approach to money?

If we want change, we need to look first at ourselves - so I looked first at myself. What was I doing? I took a good look at my bank statements, and what an interesting story they told - of waste; of an attitude that said 'I deserve these little treats'; of not understanding the difference between a luxury and a necessity; of missed opportunities to put my faith into action.
And - most important perhaps - what was the message I was giving out to my sons?

How to give?

Let me quote to you from a book of Christian discipline of the Society of Friends - see if you can guess the date:
'The love of money is apt to increase almost imperceptibly. That which was at first laboured after under the pressure of necessary duty may, without great watchfulness, steal upon the affections, and gradually withdraw the heart from God. The danger depends not upon how much a man has, but upon how much his heart is set upon what he has, and upon accumulating more.'

The date was 1858.

Well, that spoke to me.

So how could I calculate what I can afford to give?

Thank you to the young Friend who attended a workshop I ran at this year's JYM who told me: 'Make a budget. But put in a lot of thought and ask for support in deciding what you need to spend on for yourself'.

So I did. And as a result I have been able to increase my giving to my local meeting, the Yearly Meeting and a non-Quaker charity, both joyfully and generously.

I have begun to understand what the word generous means - generous in relation to what we are able to give, not in relation to the size of the gift.

Our opportunity to flourish

I am humbled by the many examples of generosity of Friends and attenders. I am inspired by the meetings engaged in fundraising activities that involve their wider communities and draw in all those involved in the life of their local meeting. I am encouraged by the depth of ministry from Young Friends.

Our meetings have an opportunity to flourish today in a Society that needs love and care, and where so many are searching for new meaning. How would it be if we polished the light in our own meetings; found together in worship our vision of a thriving local Quaker meeting; created new ways to use our buildings and resources; used our lettings income to plough back new seeds of hope in the wider community: all of us involved in our work together, reaching out into the world? What would it take?

If we have passion - or love - and the confidence to go forward with faith, we will generate the energy we need for the future.

I am not ready for Quakerism or Quaker work to die out and certainly not because we could not sustain ourselves financially.
We have a wonderful 'pearl' to share with others right now, today in this complicated world. And it needs money for us to get out there and do the work that is needed on our watch.

Finally, then, two questions:

1. How can we be patterns and examples in our behaviour with money?
2. How can we, as Quakers, uphold each other in this part of our ministry?