Faith at the end of a phone
Michael Booth finds that some of his most rewarding work begins with a simple phone call. Part of his role as the Support for Meetings Officer in Quaker Life is to respond to issues around pastoral care – eldership and oversight. This means that he receives phone calls when things might not be going so well.
I never know what is going to happen next. Often it is a simple query, which just takes a couple of minutes to answer. Sometimes what emerges is the story of a situation that I need more time to consider. How I respond is important. I need to turn my whole attention to what I’m hearing, so I lean over and shut the door and offer God an instantaneous prayer.
To have to admit to someone outside your own meeting that it is not perfect can be very difficult. And some Friends feel that contacting anyone at Friends House about an issue in their meeting is disloyal. I disagree totally: our experience shows that the earlier an issue is shared with us, the less likely it is to escalate.
Contacting Quaker Life for support shows that the meeting is fundamentally healthy in engaging with its difficulties, rather than ignoring them. It also shows the love and high regard that Friends have for each other, in that they wish their own meeting to be a living and joyful spiritual community.
My job does not give me authority over meetings, so I cannot respond by saying this is how to do it. I can listen, and listen carefully, to what I am being told, ask questions, discover how the meeting is dealing with the situation, enquire how the area meeting has been kept informed and involved. What has already been tried?
As well as closing the door, I reach out for my copy of Quaker Faith and Practice. It is always helpful to refer Friends to parts of this, checking that meetings, and their elders and overseers, are following the correct process. I am always impressed that a common response is to be pleased to be referred to Quaker Faith and Practice, with Friends finding the ability to refer other Friends to it a welcome way of moving forward.
It can be so much easier to affirm that there is a course of action that should be followed, and it is printed in Quaker Faith and Practice. It is much less isolating than having to stand up and make potentially unpopular suggestions.
I have to remember that I am not living with the situation, but have been invited to share in the situation for a short while. I can uphold Friends in their own meetings, or as they try to encourage change, and promote careful following of the process and procedures that have stood us in good stead since the 1650s.
Sometimes, a way forward is for some Friends from outside the situation to go and visit the meeting. This is when I call upon the Quaker Life Network (find out more - Quaker Life Network factsheet [PDF: 250kb]).
Once the phone conversation has ended, then the real work begins, both for the Friend who rang and for the meeting. What can I do afterwards? As well as any practical steps we might have agreed, I can uphold the Friend and meeting in prayer. I would be very pleased to hear from Friends who could join me in that upholding, whilst being aware that I will repect the confidentiality of those who have sought my advice.
Contact:
Michael Booth
michaelsb@quaker.org.uk
020 7663 1023
