Constance Turner – A testimony to the grace of God
“Your roots lie deep in Southern Russian earth
Upon the rich black plains of the Ukraine,
Where summer’s drought and winter’s frosty dearth
Are ever strengthening human bonds again.”
Anthony Thompson, to Bella, 1947
Bella Thompson (1910-93) came to live in Sevenoaks in 1962. Her husband Anthony was then working abroad so that she had to settle alone into her new surroundings. She had had some previous contact with the Quakers and began to attend the local Friends’ Meeting.
Bella grew up in Russia and was brought up in the Russian Orthodox Church. Later the family moved to Romania. She studied psychology at the university in Vienna. Her first husband was an Austrian Jewish doctor. He was not obviously Jewish in appearance, but when he declined to carry out Nazi orders in the treatment of Jews his disappearance was sadly inevitable.
Their son Garry came to England under a scheme for the evacuation of Jewish children. Bella acted as an escort for groups of Jewish children who were smuggled from Austria into France, before coming to England herself.
Sevenoaks Meeting had never welcomed anyone like her before and we had opportunities to enlarge and enrich our perceptions of a very different world, although there were also occasions for misunderstandings. Her survival through experiences of loss and danger challenged our complacency. She later showed the same resilience when first Anthony and later Garry died suddenly.
Bella was special. She was special to many people in many different ways. She made you feel special: giving you her undivided attention, listening carefully, asking probing and at times uncomfortable questions and offering sound and sympathetic advice, peppered with anecdotes from her unconventional, intriguing past. Her wide and colourful experience, together with her professional training in psychiatric social work, made her a wise and practical counsellor.
Hers was an independent spirit, with definite opinions and strong likes and dislikes, which could arouse similarly strong emotions in those around her. Bella took great pride in her Eastern European roots and brought a cosmopolitan flavour to Sevenoaks Meeting. Her concern for people as individuals, complemented by Antony’s expert knowledge of international affairs, added another dimension to the Meeting. Through Friends here, and particularly through Margaret Backhouse, who she referred to as her “spiritual mother”, the Meeting became a spiritual home to her. Bella felt herself to be close to God, who she said had been good to her, despite the trials and suffering of her life. Strong in her convictions, especially of the power of love, possessing the best kind of sceptical outlook, based on love and understanding, she could distinguish unerringly the genuine from the false; insincerity was inconceivable to Bella. She would question, challenge and criticise, but always from a deep well of affection, and often with a mischievous sense of humour. Friends were sustained by her physically as well as spiritually; when one of her numerous callers suggested a visit Bella would invariably reply “Delighted, my dear. I’m looking forward.” And she would prepare refreshment with loving care to welcome you. In her home everyone, including the fascinated children she loved so much, was invited to share her treasures, which reflected her deep appreciation of art, poetry and music.
Bella often said that she forgave but did not forget. We hope that she has forgiven us for our many shortcomings. We shall never forget her.
submitted by Constance Turner
Sevenoaks, Kent
